See the Introduction to this presentation of early poems by Edward de Vere. Click here to go to the next poem or the previous poem in the series. All the poems, and a printable pdf version of the entire presentation, may also be accessed from the Introduction. See also Note on Sources, Titles, and Presentation of Parallels, Key to Abbreviations, and Bibliography of Works Cited.
Poem No. 12: “Winged With Desire”
1 Winged with desire, I seek to mount on high,
2 Clogged with mishap yet am I kept full low;
3 Who seeks to live and finds the way to die,
4 Sith comfort ebbs, and cares do daily flow,
5 But sad despair would have me to retire,
6 When smiling hope sets forward my desire.
7 I still do toil and never am at rest,
8 Enjoying least when I do covet most;
9 With weary thoughts are my green years oppressed,
10 To danger drawn from my desired coast;
11 Now crazed with Care, then haled up with Hope,
12 With world at will yet wanting wished scope.
13 I like in heart, yet dare not say I love,
14 And looks alone do lend me chief relief.
15 I dwelt sometimes at rest yet must remove,
16 With feigned joy I hide my secret grief.
17 I would possess yet needs must flee the place
18 Where I do seek to win my chiefest grace.
19 Lo, thus I live twixt fear and comfort tossed,
20 With least abode where best I feel content;
21 I seld resort where I should settle most,
22 My sliding times too soon with her are spent;
23 I hover high and soar where Hope doth tower,
24 Yet froward Fate defers my happy hour.
25 I live abroad but still in secret grief,
26 Then least alone when most I seem to lurk;
27 I speak of peace, and live in endless strife,
28 And when I play then are my thoughts at work;
29 In person far that am in mind full near,
30 Making light show where I esteem most dear.
31 A malcontent yet seem I pleased still,
32 Bragging of heaven yet feeling pains of hell.
33 But Time shall frame a time unto my will,
34 Whenas in sport this earnest will I tell;
35 Till then, sweet friend, abide these storms with me,
36 Which shall in joys of either fortunes be.
Textual sources: Various manuscripts, including Harleian MS 7392(2) (British Library) and Rawlinson MS 85 (Bodleian Library, Oxford University). No. 12 dates no later than 1582, when (like Nos. 10 and 11) it was quoted in Brian Melbancke’s Philotimus. See May (#12) (1980, 34-35, 73, 75, 119-20; 1991, 278-79) (not in Hannah, Grosart, or Looney).
Structure: Six stanzas of six lines of iambic pentameter rhyming ABABCC.
Past commentaries on parallels: Sobran (250-53); Goldstein (2016, 60-62).
Clarifications of the text:
(4) Sith is an archaic word meaning “since” (OED 15: 563-64).
(24) The term froward, no longer in common use, means perverse, obstinate, or contrary (OED 6: 225), the etymological opposite of “toward” (as in “to and fro”).
(34) Whenas, also out of common use, is equivalent to “when,” “whereas,” or “inasmuch as” (OED 20: 210).
Strongest parallels to No. 12:
(1) I seek to mount on high
‘the gentle lark, weary of rest, From his moist cabinet mounts up on high’ (Venus, 854); ‘To mount aloft with thy imperial mistress, And mount her pitch, whom thou in triumph long Hast prisoner held’ (Titus, 2.1.13-15); ‘Mount, mount, my soul! thy seat is up on high’ (Rich. II, 5.5.112); ‘mounts no higher than a bird can soar’ (2 Hen. VI, 2.1.14).
(8) Enjoying least when I do covet most
‘With what I most enjoy contented least’ (Sonnets, 29.8).
The slight variations in syntax and word choice cannot obscure this parallel expression of an almost identical complex and subtle point, a profound insight into a paradox of human nature: Sometimes the more we covet or enjoy something, the less satisfied we are in hindsight. The thought is expressed in each case as a self-aware first-person insight, in remarkably similar turns of phrase.
See also lines 20 & 26.
(20, 26) With least abode where best I feel content … Then least alone when most I seem to lurk
‘Seeming to be most which we indeed least are’ (Shrew, 5.2.175); ‘In least speak most’ (Dream 5.1.105); ‘The true soul, when most impeached stands least in thy control’ (Sonnets, 125.14).
See also line 8.
Additional parallels to No. 12:
(1) Winged with desire
‘Whose haughty spirit, winged with desire’ (3 Hen. VI, 1.1.267); ‘Swift-winged with desire to get a grave’ (1 Hen. VI, 2.5.15); cf. ‘Borne by the trustless wings of false desire’ (Lucrece, 2).
(4) comfort ebbs and cares do daily flow
The linguistic parallelism of ebbing and flowing is by itself fairly commonplace, e.g.: ‘The sea will ebb and flow’ (LLL, 4.3.212); ‘ebb and flow like the sea’ (1 Hen. IV, 1.2.31); ‘great ones, That ebb and flow by th’moon’ (Lear, 5.3.19).
More telling are parallels associating ebbing and flowing with fluctuating emotions: ‘And sorrow ebbs, being blown with wind of words’ (Lucrece, 1330); ‘Thus ebbs and flows the current of her sorrow’ (Lucrece, 1569); ‘For still thy eyes … Do ebb and flow with tears’ (R&J, 3.5.133-34).
The broader linkages are between fluctuating or flowing emotions (comfort and cares) and (see No. 6.26) with tears and with motions of the sea (another salty medium). See also line 19 and No. 18.33.
(5-6) But sad despair would have me to retire, When smiling hope sets forward my desire
‘our hope but sad despair’ (3 Hen. VI, 2.3.9); ‘Where hope is coldest and despair most fits’ (All’s Well, 2.1.144); ‘past hope, and in despair’ (Cym., 1.1.137); ‘Despair and hope makes thee ridiculous’ (Venus, 988).
Again, antithetical yet juxtaposed emotions appear in both samples. See also No. 5.17-22.
(11) Now crazed with Care
‘The grief hath crazed my wits’ (Lear, 3.4.170).
(16) With feigned joy I hide my secret grief
‘And all that poets feign of bliss and joy’ (3 Hen. VI, 1.2.31).
On the leitmotif of dissimulation, a suggestive common interest seen in both samples, see also No. 5 (passim) and Nos. 6.4, 9.2, 10.9-10, and 18.40.
(19) twixt fear and comfort tossed
‘Is madly tossed between desire and dread’ (Lucrece, 171).
The word tossed, recalling an association between emotion and the motions of the sea or objects on the sea, sums up the divided condition of fear juxtaposed to some positive emotion (comfort or “desire”). See also line 4 and Nos. 6.26 and 18.33.
(27) I speak of peace, and live in endless strife
‘as thou liv’st in peace, die free from strife’ (Rich. II, 5.6.27); ‘And for the peace of you I hold such strife’ (Sonnets, 75.3).
Continue to Poem No. 13, return to Poem No. 11, or return to the Introduction.
[published June 22, 2018, updated 2021]
